October 11 would have been my parents’ wedding anniversary. My father died when I was a child, so I don’t have memories of their anniversaries. But their life together, like their singular personalities, are part of my identity. A long-standing question: “Is nature or nurture more important in formation?” No doubt both. One thing is certain, nurture in faith communities is crucial. However, saying, “Our church is like a family” can be problematic. I know what people mean: close ties, belonging. But that image also can signal exclusivity to the stranger, and to those who don’t resemble the predominate membership
The Hebrew Bible (Old Testament) speaks of tribes, but in the New Testament Gospels Jesus talks about leaving brothers or sisters or mother or father or children for the sake of the Good News and of receiving a hundredfold brothers, sisters, mothers, children. The Epistles (the Letters of the New Testament) are often addressed to “Brothers and Sisters” of the new churches. There are warnings against saying “I belong” to this family or that leader, and against divisions between Jews and Gentiles. Christians are described as, “all heirs through adoption.”
Jesus Christ experienced suffering in being estranged from religious leaders, separated from family, deserted by disciples, and finally forsaken by God on the cross. We have and we will experience brokenness in families, and being estranged from one another, even within faith communities. The church is not just a cozy family. The gift of grace in Jesus Christ is reconciliation.
When my mother was widowed we moved from Des Moines to Mason City; a congregation invited us in. There we found not just families: the Swansons, the McMurrays or the Ortegas, but a broad caring community.
When Burton and I married we decided—I don’t remember how or when—our home would be open to whomever God placed within our family. Within a year, we were invited to adopt a child—while we were yet in seminary. Through the years our family has included a chosen child and two biological children. And through the decades, we have received a hundredfold brothers and sisters in Christ.
Although we disconnect, forget, and mourn the loss of one another, God creates and recreates community, far more than a hundredfold. Through God’s warm embrace we become ever-reaching-out people, way beyond biological families, so that we can nurture one another. How far? Refugees, immigrants, strangers wait for our welcome.
Yesterday The Nobel Peace Prize was awarded to India's Kailash Satyarthi, a Hindu, and Pakistan's Malala Yousafzai, a Muslim, a remarkable and prophetic sign of being kin across religious and national boundaries. These two remarkable people inspire us all in their courage, passion and work that all children, including especially girl children deserve an education, and that no child should be a slave, nor property, nor oppressed or in danger. Indeed, how can we be ever-reaching-out people?